This is the Day that the Lord Has Made...

...let us rejoice & be glad in it! Well, it's Day 3 of Chemo, and what a difference a day can make! Yesterday, I felt somewhat human for the first time in 5 days. Even fixed my hair and put on make up.

So, many have been asking me to give this blog thing a try, to share what's going on in this crazy journey we are traveling, but I thought, nah, I can just keep everyone informed on Facebook, I don't need a "Blog". Then, I tried to sit down and write my first update of any length today, on Facebook, because I finally felt up to the task, and after typing for almost an hour (did I mention yet my only means of communication at this time is my iPad, by the way) and pressed to post the note....I waited, and waited, and waited, then...nothing! The whole thing just disappeared. Like it never happened. Needless to say, I have now turned into Something I never saw myself being: a Blogger! So, bear with me--I'm still trying to figure out 1) the iPAD (thanks Daddy!!) 2) the editing tools and 3) the formatting. Is not right and putting my ADD into overdrive, but here goes:

First and foremost, I want to say, we serve an awesome and mighty God! And it humbles me like you wouldn't believe to have seen the outpouring of prayers and support given to me & my family already during what is just the beginning of a long journey ahead.
I know with everything happening so quickly, there are a lot of questions, perhaps even confusion or myths surrounding what is happening to me. I wanted a place to answer these questions, clear the confusion, dispel the myths and in everything, give thanks to God for all He has done and will continue to do for me and my family.

So, let's start from the beginning. I have been battling and treated for what we believed to be a severe tonsil infection for over a month. It started with testing positive for strep throat, that after finishing 10 days of antibiotics, I was left with huge lymph nodes on both sides of my neck, beneath my chin and in the back of my head. Two days after finishing the first antibiotic, my sore throat returned, so I received another round of antibiotics and made an appointment with an ENT/Surgeon, who decided the best course of action would be removal of my tonsils and adenoids. This was scheduled for Monday, April 25th, and he felt the lymph node swelling was all related to the massive infection and told me I would probably need to be on
antibiotics until my surgery date, that I would know if the symptoms returned, to be treated
again.

Needless to say, for the next 3 weeks my friends at KDMC Grayson Family Care Center (big shout out to my girls Brandi, Katrina, Natalie, guy Dale and everyone else who works so hard there--I I love you all and don't know what we would do without you!) saw more of my butt than they
ever wanted to, both literally and figuratively-haha! The last week I was needing not only
antibiotics but also steroid injections and pills due to the tremendous swelling of my lymph
nodes that were causing me to feel at times like someone had their hands around my throat.

The final straw was when I was up all night last Tuesday due to tremendous pain in the left side of my neck and up into my head because of the swollen lymph nodes. Once again, my girls at the Family Care Center came to my rescue, and with encouragement from my friends at work, I called the surgeon to see if there was anyway I could have my surgery Friday rather than wait to Monday. He could! Surgery date now moved up to Friday the 22nd, but this was Wed.the 20th so I had to go right away back to the Family Care Center to have my pre op labs done within the 48 hour timeframe of my now scheduled surgery. That night, feeling like there was an end in sight, and with the help of a pain killer, I went from lying awake on ice packs and
being awake going on 36 hours straight to sleeping soundly from 11 pm to 11 am. Shortly after
I awoke, my ENT/ Surgeon called. He asked how I was feeling and wanted to know what had been
going on since I saw him on the 4th. I started explaining what all I had gone through, the
numerous rounds of antibiotics and most recently steroids to relieve the swelling, just trying to make it to my originally scheduled surgery date. All this time I'm thinking, how sweet, he
must have had to approve the date change for my surgery and saw how I'd been struggling so
called to check on me. Then he dropped the bomb on me that dropped me to my knees. He said
"well, I'm sorry to say we won't be able to do your surgery tomorrow because some of your labs have come back abnormal and the pathologist (now that's a scary word when you know what kind
of things a pathologist is looking for) requested to send your blood for further testing. We
will know more when we get these results." He went on to try to console me and said he would
be in touch with Brabdi & Katrina and together they would get to the bottom of this. And I
had full comfidence they would, with the help of Our God.


It was recommended I go immediately to have a CT Scan, for which Luther met me there to have
and hasn't left my side since (he is my rock, my womderful soulmate, my husband. I could write
about him forever but we shall save that for another day. I love you Sweetheart!) Then, we waited.

Luther's way of waiting was he didn't want to see or speak to anyone. He wanted to run & hide.
Me, I couldn'nt stand the thought of not keeping my self, body and mind occupied so my mommy instinct could settle down before making me crazy.

I am an optimist. Always. Never have I been one of these hypochondriac nurses who had themselves diagnosed with everything they studied or every rare anomaly their patient had. I am a very scientifically minded person when it comes to medicine. Don't jump to conclusions. Wait for the proof. Only, this time, this time was different than any other time in my life, and I had found myself questioning all along; is this really just my tonsils. Is there something worse going on this time? Could it be the "C" word? The worst Of the worst?

Strangely, I had a peaceful understanding, as we waited these terrible results. I suddenly realized why God chose to take our babies, our Taegan and Tank, straight to Heaven and far too soon. It was to protect me. Whatever these results God would soon reveal to us, He saw, and knew this monster I would be facing before it was ever in existence. And He knew, because He is my God, that I could never have chosen my life over my babies.

So, after much talking with Luther, I decided he needed to go coach his girls home softball game because i needed to go cheer on his girls. And Gunnar & Maverick needed not to be worried about anything until we knew what we were worrying about. We would simply pray for mommy to get better. And that's what we did.

Friday morning, Luther was home from school with me, because he had already acquired a sub for that day thinking I was having surgery. While he was gone taking the boys to school, I received Bad News # 1 of the day. Katrina called as soon as she got to the Family Care Center and saw the results from my CT scan from the day before. It showed lymph node involvement not only in the areas we knew and expected them to show--where they were now visible to the naked eye along my jawline and around my neck. They were also present in my chest, under arms and areas they could see in my upper abdomen. We felt we were looking at possibly a type of lymphoma, and suspecting this the day before, and being proactive as she is, Katrina had told me the day before she wanted to go ahead and try to get me an appointment with a hematologist/oncologist, as this was where were leaning towards needing help. Without hesitatiion, I told her I wanted Dr. David Goebel. She had spoken to his office the evening before, to let them know what was going on and to be on the lookout for the lab results to come from pathology to him as well as these CT results. As expected, an appointment would not be made until he was able to see the results, so understandably, we were now a part of another waiting game--to wait on the final pathology report to make it's way to Dr. Goebel (Katrina was faxing the CT results and she & Brandi both were working that and would be on the lookout for any other results they could pass along to help speed up the process) and most likely, the waiting game of a long holiday weekend, when things tend to move slower in the medical field, and we had already learned Dr. Goebel was thought to be out of the office this day, but would be checking in and his office staff was also on the lookout for my results to pass along to him.
Well, thanks to the speed of technology, persistence of my girls Brandi & Katrina, help from a called in favor from my sister Mindy, and nothing less than Devine intervention, Luther and I were having lunch at Melini's when we received a call from Brandi: Dr. Goebel had my results and wanted to meet us in his office right away. We left our food where it was, paid our bill, and made it to his office in Ashland in about 35 minutes.
I have to just say, I have much love & respect for Dr. Goebel. I think both professionally and personally, he is awesome. He & his staff were great. Very caring, thorough and took much time in both my verbal history of what had been going on, as well as in examining me from head to toe. And when the time came to give us the shocking Newark we did not expect to hear: it is Leukemia, not lymphoma like we all (including him) were expecting, he delivered the news with grace and compassion, allowed me to cry on his shoulder and told me he already had arranged for me to be admitted at UK, where I could expect at least a 4 week hospital stay for Chemotherapy, and other treatments they deemed necessary (probably lots of blood, blood products and possibly a bone marrow transplant in the future) and assured me he was sending me to the experts. The best ones to treat my condition. Not because he didn't want to, but like he said, he may see 1 or 2 new Leukemia patients a year. At UK, there is a whole nursing unit designated to my diagnosis. He took us into the hall, hugged me tight and handed me all my records and results that had already been copied and faxed to the Dr.'s at UK, but wanted me to have a paper copy as well.
So, here we are. We didn't make it to UK as quickly as we did to Ashland, because we had some last minute errands to run and some packing/planning/arranging to do for our boys, but we did make it here late Friday night, and they have all been wonderful!! I have full confidence, again, thar God's Hands are all over this place and He is giving the direction and guidance to everyone else I have come in contact with who are just an extension of His hands.

The long & short of it all, as I try to wrap this firt post up (more like a book-hehe)and let you on with your busy lives: I have a Leukemia called AML, or Acute Myloid Leukemia. I had a bone marrow biopsy Monday to better stage and know exactly which course of treatment will work against my particular strain. These results can take a couple of weeks to obtain; however, this does not delay treatment in any way. I already started Chemo Tuesday (after I also received a long term IV catheter called a PICC line that has multiple ports so I can receive numerous medications all at once, and I never have to get stuck for labs because the nurses just draw everything through my PICC line--yay me!)I am getting 2 different kinds of Chemo: One goes in daily and only takes 15 minutes to run. The other was started at the same time, but it runs continuously, 24/7, for 7 whole days. They are already working their (God's) magic, because all my blood counts are dropping rapidly, which is a good response. However, because of that, I am receiving a unit of blood platelets and 2 units of whole blood today. This should perk me up and make me feel much better. I have also been battling some pretty high fevers, which is to be expected, so I am on numerous antibiotics to keep me from developing any infections. Right now, the biggest obstacle I am facing is trouble breathing. The Leukemia, though it is a cancer of the blood and is throughout the whole body, can attach itself to any other organ it chooses. Well, mine has decided to attach itself to my left lung. This causes me to be quite short of breath (I basically do well to make it from my bed to the bathroom and back, and sometimes even then, I have to have help) but I am receiving oxygen and breathing treatments and just taking it easy, and the more Chemo I receive, the more these symptoms will go away. I do not have Lung Cancer, I have Leukemia in my lung, as well as throughout the rest of my body. It is all being treated and all seems to be responding well at this time. I fully expect a miracle that I know only God can provide and cling to Phillipians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!!!

Shewee! Sure didn't intend to ramble on and on, but truly just wanted a place to be able to provide updates, let everyone how much we appreciate all the love, support, encouragement and PRAYERS--I read every sweet precious word sent to me in any way and your words and prayers mean more to this old girl than there are words to express.

I cannot commit to posting here daily, or even every other day, but promise to update as often as I can or pass along interesting or important information as I receive it. A lot of people have been asking about visiting times, ways to contact me, etc. I will try my best to get all the ins and outs worked out and post (a much smaller post, I promise) later this evening.

I love you all! God Bless all hearts reading this. Pray, pray, PRAY!

Bridgett